Where Do We Go Now? (Sweet Child O' Mine...)

So as anyone who may have looked at this blog any time over the last, oh, three or four months has probably realized, it's been a little dead in the water. Partially that is because I was super busy getting married, finding a new apartment, and doing all these exciting things that I suppose I could've blogged about but I didn't. I don't know why. Maybe because I was really busy actually doing these things as opposed to commenting on them, or maybe it's because I'm a little uncomfortable writing about myself. Not that I don't want to write about myself, it's just that I seem to have a hard time going about it straightforwardly.

Which is the real reason this blog has been languishing, especially for the last month. I haven't felt since I started, I suppose, that I've really known what I wanted to say. Sure, I have opinions about lots of different things, but my interests are so mercurial that I've had a hard time focusing my efforts and attention on making this a "something" blog, like a photo blog or a sci-fi blog or a political blog or even just a personal blog. And trying to be an everything blog was too nebulous. It's like reading the paper: so many important events stacked one atop the other that by the end of it you don't have any coherent sense that you've actually done or discovered anything important. And that's how I felt blogging about whatever crossed my table: it was interesting, but I didn't get the sense that I was doing or saying or even bringing to anyone's attention anything of worth. And it was too easy to abandon it.

But at the same time I have the persistent, nagging feeling that I have something to say and I'm simply not saying it. What can it be? Do I want to tell a story? I don't know. Writing is enjoyable, but I haven't had the patience (or maybe just haven't pushed myself) to actually sit down and work out a plot, characters, you know--all the things you need to actually write a story. I want to, but it keeps getting put on the back burner until, you know, one day I have cancer or I'm 90 or I fall into a raging river or something and I've never done it. Never written anything I can be proud of, and I realize as I'm dying that I always could've done it, I just never tried. I don't want that.

So how does that dovetail with the blog? A couple different ways, I suppose. The first is that I want to start serializing some fiction on here. My own private Charles Dickens, I suppose, and if anyone I know or don't know happens to come on here and read something and comment on it, so much the better. Might even get me writing to know someone was reading something I was working on. The other thing is that one thing I do a lot of is reading. Well, I watch movies, too. So I'm involving myself in a lot of narratives, and I'd like to think out loud, so to speak, about what I'm reading and watching. My own little review site, too, I guess you could say. Not that there aren't enough movie and book reviews floating around online already; I don't expect to make any kind of splash, socially speaking. But I think it would help me immensely just to organize my thoughts about things and get stuff out, start writing something just for the pleasure of it.

And if anyone I told about my blog actually comes by to check it after its long dormancy, well, that would be cool, too.